Top 10 Tattoo Ideas That Men Shouldn’t Get

 

10. Biblical Tattoos

We have so many reasons why we are against biblical tattoos and here are just a few: Getting a tattoo dedicated to God or getting a verse from Matthew 2: 1-12 doesn’t automatically make you a Christian and doesn’t get you a reserved place in heaven. And would God even approve of body modification? Our bet is that he wouldn’t and the tattooist has to inflict pain on you which would be a sin wouldn’t it? A true Christian would have no tattoo at all we reckon.

9. Tribal Tattoos

Are you that uncreative that you wish to opt for a tribal design? Just give your 8-year-old daughter a permanent marker and let her draw on you and it will look just as good. Tribal tattoos are usually the preferred tattoos for 15-year-old boys, but we assure you, you will grow out of the fad when you’re older, so please wait. If you are still opting for the tribal tattooed look, you might as well go for the roid look and start lifting weights so you can finish the look – you are going to look badass.

8. Genital Tattoos

Due to the fact that not many people will see your newly added genital tattoo (apart from your new girlfriend, lucky her) we decided to place the body part high on our list. If you are thinking about getting one in this private place, just think of the pain. If you have been lucky enough to ever have sex (LOLs) then you know the nerve endings down there are extremely sensitive. Then imagine a week without intercourse as the tattoo heals and the fact why someone would ever want ink in that prominent location anyway.

7. Your Own Name Tattooed

Unless you have a serious memory problem then it makes no sense to have your own name tattooed on yourself – especially down your forearm in a size 152 font. In fact, enlighten us, please comment below with a valid reason why this tattoo idea doesn’t make you look a d**k to everyone who sees the tattoo. Even partners names that take up your entire arm look stupid. “Oh, crap, I have forgot my name. Wait; hold on, I have my name tattooed. I knew this would have come in handy one day.”

6. Mum Tattoos

The most cliché and tackiest tattoo going has to be the mum tattoo that incorporates a heart and a banner around the heart – preferably on your shoulder or bicep. A tattoo like this isn’t only going to lower your street credit, but we hope your “Mum” disowns you. Tribute tattoos such as a thimble as your mum loves cross-stitching is a different thing entirely, but wouldn’t you rather just buy her a new blender instead or some Argos vouchers?

5. Navel tattoos

Navel tattoos in general can look good if you incorporate your belly button well, and novelty tattoos such as your favourite old-school gaming character or even a Pokémon can also fetch a few laughs, but when you combine the two you are asking for comments such as “what a Muppet.” You might as well get your belly button pierced too. Do yourself a favour and opt for a stomach tattoo and avoid the belly button where possible, and if you have a “beer belly,” then avoid this area altogether. Also take into consideration; if you let yourself go when you’re older, this area is going to stretch.

4. Armpit Tattoos

Just like our position number 10, the armpit is going to make you bite the tattooist’s chair while you think, what the hell was I thinking, as you go through a world of pain. Then when you get it done every other person is going to ask why you chose that location to get a tattoo and do you know why? Because it doesn’t make sense, that’s why. Unless you walk around with your arm behind your back then it makes no sense to get a tattoo on the armpit.

3. Chinese Symbol Tattoos

The above meme should answer all your questions, but if you are still thinking about getting a Chinese (or even Japanese) symbol tattooed then please don’t. Just because an English word is translated into Chinese, it doesn’t have any more meaning or make it any more mysterious. Would you seriously get the word “love” tattooed in English? But you would in Chinese we bet? It makes matters worse that 99% of people getting Chinese symbols tattooed can’t speak Chinese, don’t know any more Chinese symbols, and can’t even re-draw their own symbol without looking at it.

2. Facial Tattoos

Although we feel that you should be allowed to do with your own body what you please, getting a tattoo on your face is only going to bring unwanted attention to yourself. And because people are judgemental, facial tattoos just scream prison. Not only that, but they are impossible to get covered up so future jobs are jeopardised. There is a reason that tattoos are known as “job stoppers”.

1. Lower-Back Tattoos

A tattoo located on the lower back has its own term associated with it — a “tramp stamp” — and is hugely popular amongst the female population. In fact, it’s the most popular place for a woman to get a tattoo. You as a male wishing to get a tattoo their only screams “feminine” towards other red-blooded males. You may as well get your tongue pierced and wear a skirt and high heels while you are at it.
Again, we are not against tattoos and we have them ourselves. Just please think and think again before getting a stupid tattoo, and then ask your friend, your girlfriend, you Mum, next door neighbour, auntie and Frank down the road what they think as you need to live with it forever – and people will judge you.