Top 10 That Could Only Happen at Walmart Moments

 

10. Casually Taking Your Pet Alligator for a Stroll

Who even owns a pet alligator? Why would you want one? Are you even allowed them as pets? Why would you take it for a walk in Walmart? I know the sign usually says no dogs accept guide dogs, but bringing in an alligator is probably not allowed, is it? “Well technically, Sir, the sign says nothing about alligators”.

9. Momma Got Herself Some Orange Soda

You know when we pay to sleep with your mom every Thursday, do you know what she does with the money? Well now you do. She gets her fine ass down to her local Walmart store and buys herself some orange soda. We don’t blame her though, we would build up a thirst after the seeing to we gave her last night.

8. Taking the Grandson Shopping

“Hank, your grandson has come to stay for the day and you don’t even acknowledge him! How about you take him to Walmart and let him pick out a toy”. *30 mins later* As you can see, it seems like Hank’s grandson is having the best time ever. I am sure he will go home and tell his mother all the wonderful things him and his grandad did together.

7. Damn, Girl!

If you wish to be overweight then that’s your choice as it doesn’t effect us if you are (unless we are sat next to you and you are taking up half our seat – that sh*t does p*ss us off), but please make sure you buy cloths that fit you for goodness sake. No one wants to see it. Really, they don’t

6. Granny is Easy

Oh wow, it looks like your granny likes Frosties the treacle. Hold on a cotton pickin’ moment! Her t-shirt says what? It’s not easy being easy? Sh*t the bed! Where did she buy that from as we totally want one. We wondering if the back of the t-shirt said anything?
And remember kids: It’s not easy being easy.

5. Officer, I’ve Spotted a Cloud

Remember that time you spotted some smoke in the sky and it turned out to be clouds? Well so does all of America thanks to the Ellen show. Damn you Dory. Just god help you never see the sun as it’s going to be a really bad and terrifying day for you. “Officer, the sky… It’s on fire! There’s a huge ball and it’s going to crash into us!”

4. Raccoon Anyone?

Has anyone seen my racoons? Oh yeah, that’s right, they are on the top of my car! We’ve heard the raccoon business is booming, especially if you start selling them in Walmart car parks. We best go and round a few of them bitches up and find us a walmart.

3. Teaching Your Son a Lesson

Has your son done something he shouldn’t lately such as lie to you? Yes you say? You best teach the boy a lesson and humiliate him in walmart by making him wear a sign that says “I am a liar”. Now if only there was a way the whole world could see it. Oh, there is. Thank you, internet.

2. Emo Pandas are Real?

Emo panda? As if that is even a niche now. Is this what happens when emo evolves? The next generation of emo? We wonder if the couple are Japanese too. We just want to know if the girl knows she has forgot to put on trousers – it’s not like we are complaining like. Well a little, as she is a little on the skinny side. Give us them juice doubles any day.

1. Look at Dem Mullets

Now these are some mullets than Jean-Claude Van Damme would be jelly of. Someone so needs to rock a mullet and try and bring it back. Why wouldn’t you want a style that says business on top and party in the back?